Dallas, TX - Daniel Brownunder was abducted early Friday morning from his cubicle after numerous employees filed complaints about severe odors that never seemed to go away. Co-workers described the smells as “not of this earth.”

The Gas Squad is frequently becoming a solution to awkward or embarrasing situations in which upper management fails to act. Abducted employees are given thorough internal examinations and have their insides “totally cleaned out.” A monitoring of the employee’s eating habits ensues to ensure no further problems arise that would disrupt the workplace. Brownunder is expected to return to work on Monday “as if nothing ever happened.” Little is known about the Gas Squad, except that they are out there, and their techniques work.

Office worker Daniel Brownunder is missing in action until the Gas Squad is through with him.

Brownunders co-workers celebrated all day Friday after the Gas Squad made the abduction. “This will be the first day in years that my eyes won’t water when I go over to the accounting department.” said Jill Albert from the sales department. CEO Bob Martin said “I don’t know who brought in the Gas Squad, but it will be interesting to see the efficiency effects on Brownunder and the staff.”