Honolulu, HI - The Hawaiian Punch will join the NBA’s West Coast Conference beginning with the 2006 season. Top players are being wooed with beautiful beaches and luaus. Allen Iverson is considering the move and said “Dude, it’s a no brainer. Where would you rather play your home games, Hawaii or Philly?”

So far, the leading candidate for coach of the new team is Tom Selleck, best known for the television show Magnum, P.I. NBA league officials opposed the new team’s name, fearing it would attract the league’s more aggressive players, but had no legal recourse.